MEN

(this one is worth sharing)

 WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --
.

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
.

Your last name stays put..
.

The garage is all yours.
.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.
.

Chocolate is just another snack.
.

You can be President.
.

You can never be pregnant.
.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
.

The world is your urinal..
.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
.
is just too icky.
.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
.

Same work, more pay.
.

Wrinkles add character.
.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
.

One mood all the  time..
.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
.

You know stuff about sports.
.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
.

You can open all your own  jars.
.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
.

If someone forgets to invite you,
.

he or she can still be your friend.
.

Your underwear is  $8.95 for a three-pack.
.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
.

You almost never have strap problems in public.
.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
.

Everything on your face stays its original color.
.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
.

You only have to shave your face and neck.
.

You can play with toys all your life.
.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes.
.

No wonder men are happier.
.

  Men Are Just Happier People

~

NICKNAMES

.

*          If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
.

*          If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .

.

EATING OUT

*          When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
.

*          When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.

~

MONEY

*          A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
.

*          A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but
it's on sale.

~

BATHROOMS

*          A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
.

*          The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these
items.

~

ARGUMENTS

*          A woman has the last word in any argument.
.

*          Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.

~

FUTURE

*          A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
.

*          A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

~

MARRIAGE

*          A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
.

*          A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but
she does.

~

DRESSING UP

*          A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
.

*          A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

~

NATURAL

*          Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
.

*          Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

~

OFFSPRING

*          Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
.

*          A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
house.

~

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!

gotta love it....